Sacrifice: Stay up Late with your Family, if you have to!

Endure to the End?

Our son works late, so I've cashed in my Lark credentials for the same Wise Old Owl qualifications my wife enjoys til early, early in the morning of the next day. Years of working early morning radio news, rising at 4:00 AM has made this shift in my personal time clock less than easy. 

My sweet Rosie's health is such that she has such a hard time getting to sleep and and a hard time getting up before early afternoon.  Like a newborn, her sleep and wake clock has been turned upside down.  

Elizabeth Anderson, a fifth grade teacher friend of our family in Wyoming in the 60's, once told me that every hour before midnight you get to bed is worth two hours of extra sleep.  I haven't enjoyed that bonus in years.  

My wife's prime time starts about 10:00 PM.  If I went to bed at 10 PM,  we'd have precious little quality time to speak of.  I'd miss my son completely.  He gets in about 11:30 PM when he's not out doing his Midnight Gardening with a flashlight and a harvesting basket. On one hand it's cooler, on the other hand he misses the little veggies you can't see easily in a narrow flashlight beam.

President Henry B. Eyring counseled parents of late sleepers and late workers to stay up and visit with them on a regular basis.  "If you're tired when you get up and go to work next day, please, do what I do." he said.   "During my lunch hour I inform my secretary, put a "Do Not Disturb hanger" on my door. Then I lock it, clean off my desk and pull out the blanket and pillow I keep in the closet and take a quick nap.  That and an apple keep me alert and focused for the rest of the day.  As long as you don't do it behind the wheel, napping is good for you!"

JRH

The Best Church Instructors Know How to "Play the Organ"

Organ playing as a metaphor for
Great Teaching

In 1969 I was called to teach the two seventies and three high priests of the Washington D.C. Singles Ward.  John Miller, our stake patriarch took me aside soon after I was called and taught me a most valuable principle of church class leadership.

"A church class is like an organ recital." he began.  "In the academic world, the professor knows so much more than the students that they come to be taught.  

In the kingdom the instructor is the focus of discussion, yes, but if he is wise he will follow these step and harness the inspiration in his fellow students:

1. Prepare Thoroughly:  Study, Pray, Seek Inspiration, Simplify and Condense.

2.  Come Humbly:  Understand that the class has nothing to do with showing off your skills or intelligence.  They are your fellow student and while you are the focus, your task is a simple one:  create the atmosphere of love and trust so that each member will feel comfortable sharing.  The following steps are key.

3. Cite THE Scripture:  In the limited time you have, just the right scripture will make all the difference.  Of course you can use other scriptures to fortify your point, but don't get caught up in using so many scriptures that you neglect "Playing the Organ" 

4. Pose a Great Theme Question:  Phrase it so that it sparks some interest and thought in members of the class.  It should recall experiences and motivate sharing for the next step.  Don't underestimate the power of your silence at this point.   One great instructor I know told the group, "Well, that's all I've got! and that he was going to depend on them for the rest of the class, then he backed away from the microphone.  He was only about six or seven minutes into the class but he had phrased the Theme Question question in such a way that the class immediately picked up on it.  He spent the rest of the hour just calling on members to "help him out".  It takes maturity and a good sense of what works!  It is the essence of step 5.

5. Play the Organ:

This wonderful, wise 80 something brother had a twinkle as he shared this simple formula for great church teaching.

I had to ask, "What do you mean, 'Play the Organ' ?

"Every brother  in the class (and in the auxiliaries, sisters, too) have deep opinions." He continued.  "If they've studied the sciptures as they should, they'll have corresponding life experience that can inform and inspire the other members off the quorum.  

"Each man represents an organ key, and it's your duty to create an atmosphere that will help them feel comfortable to share their inspiration and edify one another.  As the instructor you, too can learn from them and be inspired with their truths in a mutually satisfying and spiritual experience.  That's what "playing the organ" means.  Touching them as you would touch the keys in a magnificent recital."  He knew me well enough to know that I played the hymns for priesthood once in a while.

Church "instruction" is less about facts and much more about feelings as we build testimonies in church classes.  It's all about edifying one another when a skilled and loving teacher knows how to, "Play the Organ"..

JRH

1st YouTube Parable of H2W Talents, Crafts & Fine Arts!

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If you put your light under a bushel, it will go out!  (or the basket will catch fire!)

Sharing your light will help it grow brighter! Here's 2 minutes and 36 seconds of sharing brighter and brighter talents.  Here's what our ward did with everyone who didn't skip town for family reunions on the weekend of the 24th of July. Nearly 100 presenters and Variety Show Committee members participated!

When more YouTube H2W fun is packaged and produced from Michael Fugal's terrific video shooting of that night, you'll receive notice (if you send back an email with comments to: wizardhowe@gmail.com)

The Holladay First Ward of the Salt Lake Holladay Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints produced a Variety Show and Fine Arts & Craft Fair on July 22, 2011.  This is the first of several YouTube Productions sharing that Pioneer Days Celebration.  This first 2 minute 36 second "sample" features a welcome by Brent McPhie, Second Counselor in the H2W Bishopric and twelve young women  singing "Sippin' Cider through a Straw".  The spinning wheel crafter in the beginning of the sequence is Shannon Fugal. Pictures of many of the other participants in the talent show are displayed during the singing.

JRH

The Enduring List

Evidence of the Power of a Kindly List

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists!'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. (of course they would on the other side)

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

From Carol McLean

What does God to for a Living? He leads Committees!

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The first verse of Genesis, the first Book of the Old Testament reads, "In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth."  Joseph Smith translated one word differently in the Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible--from "God" to "the Gods"

The creation of this mortal experiment station between Jupiter and Mars was not a one man job.  It took a bunch of us.  I say us, because Joesph Smith taught that we all helped--all of us who earned the right to take bodies and go through the obstacle course that is mortality.

"I don't even step on an ant because I don't know what part I took in helping to create it!" Brother Joseph is reported to have taught about the process of creation.  (See Abraham 3:22-24, Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 1, pages 74-75.)

What's the BIG IDEA(S)?

Over the last two months, I've learned more about the way our Heavenly Father does business.  The Bishopric asked me to work with a committee to produce our Variety Show and Arts and Crafts Fair--and what a committee.   I learned that when you call great people, you get great results and I had the blessing of working with the cream of the ward.  I thank them for the fun success we enjoyed with everybody -- An audiece of nearly 100 and more than 80 participants on stage and on tables around the edge

When we were collaborating on the stake musical, I was convinced that God was a playwrite.  Then we worked on the Variety Show together and I changed my mind--God is a talent scout and a producer.  Of course geologists say he was one of them for His glorious mountains, educators claim His primary skill is the teaching ability behind the great parables.  In this discussion a Lawyer boasted that before the creation of the earth and the great teaching of the Savior, God most resembled his profession-----creating chaos!  (Ref Scott Turow Time magazine)

Everyone on the committee pulled their weight and more--but one sister gladdened my heart.   We brainstormed a stage full of strings playing a fun number.  I personally counted on the whole Hilton Family who boasts three talented, hard practicing sons:  two violins and a cello, however they let me know they were headed to a family reunion out of town that night.  The idea began to fall apart, then I called Natalie Niebaur one of the best and brightest violinists in the ward.  I explained the idea and hoped she could pull together other string players in the ward including a rumored ukelele player in the elder's quorum.  Her response bouyed me with her enthusiasm. "Of course!  I'd love to!" she said and she did!

What a great plan of happiness that puts us in position to learn as we rub shoulders with one another in a great effort to build the kingdom.

JRH

What you SEE is what you DO!

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Great care is taken by our Heavenly Father and his leaders on earth to guide children of light to seek more light and avoid darkness.

Then President Marion G. Romney quoted this verse:

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, 
As to be hated needs but to be seen; 
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, 
We first endure, then pity, and then embrace. 

(Pope, Essay on Man, epistle ii, lines 217, The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations,
 London: Oxford University Press, 1966, p. 383).



This is more than an ANTI PORNOGRAPHY post.  My intent is to share a principle that works in our lives that can work in a positive way.   Avoiding violence, noise, confusion, doom, sadness and yes, images that promote sin is just part of it.  I hope you'll take away the idea that whatever you expose your eyes and brain to inspires wishes, desires and goals that unavoidably determine what you do.  What you SEE really is what you GET! 

I heard an eye opening interview on NPR recently about hoarders.  The point of the story (well done) was to explain how psychologists have discovered that people who hoard junk--and can't seem to throw anything away function visually.  A coffee table or sofa becomes the repository of things they need to pay attention to--dirty laundy, unfinished food, utility bills all get piled up, where these unfortunate souls can see them.  Sorting and chucking is far from their capability.

Years ago I heard about an elderly couple who disappeared.  Neighbors worried about them more than usual because they didn't see them for months.   When authorities were notified and broke into the home the stench was over whelming--not just because of the two dead souls who lived there.  Police had to call in cadaver dogs.  Every room was filled nearly chest high with garbage and keepsakes.  Even the front room had little trails like scouts build in deep snow.

The story clicked with me.  A dear sister was recently released to the sorrow of her counselors, advisors and especially her dear Young Women.  One of my assignments is to gather information for the Sacrament Meeting program including the name, picture and brief profile of each youth speaker.  Young Men have an opportunity every other week, except Fast Sunday, alternating with the Young Women.

To the Young Men Presidency's credit, they follow the process carefully and with enthusiasm.  Two weeks before a young man speaks, he is called, in private and, hopefully, inspiration and charged to pick a gospel topic he feels strongly about.  I am given the name, contact him, often at church a week before and help remind him by taking a nice picture in often shirt and tie, gathering the important details of his young junior high life, writing the profile and sending it to him for approval well before my printing deadline.  It all works like clockwork--like it should.

Not so with the Young Women in our ward.  After months of waiting for a call, sending gentle, loving reminders and a list of young sisters who have spoken this year, I get nothing.   We leave the spot in the program vacant.  The Bishop asks me, gently, what the problem is and we both shake our heads.

Trouble is, this good sister has been fabulous with the young women--mostly because she is one of them.   To be fair, she has a large family of her own who love her dearly, and while she's going through nursing school in her fifties, running a catering company out of her miraculous kitchen and working full time, our former YW President is never on time, frustrates up tight camp directors and folks who don't know and love her with a laugh and "I'll get to it"

As happens too late in these matters, I figured out "the method" that works with her--and the hoarding story on public radio turned the key for me.  For the last few weeks I show up at her opening exercises and sit in the back.   (One developmentally challenged young sister came back once and said, "Welcome to Young Womens......why are YOU here?   With a completely straight face I told her I was thinking of joining.)

The YW President, by our previous agreement, seeing me in back--and darting around in a jolly chaos, guiding one young woman to write the opening agenda, skiddywampus on the white board while another practiced leading the opening hymn stopped everything to meet my need.

"Brother Howe is here to get the next Youth Speaker---who spoke last time?"  (She has never been bound down by mere mortal tools like clip boards, records, watches etc.)  The Young Women know and call out the name.  "Oh, that's right--well," she laughs, "You get to pick the next youth speaker!"

Not the most conventional method--but on reflection it has a certain charm to it.  In this way all the Young Women at once know they'll have a turn. Often they call out names of those in their group who haven't spoken yet this year (We have nearly 30 young women, so most of them will get a chance, if they want to)

One downside is that several young women stay away because they know they might get chosen. That's why the private, inspired, encouraged model is important.   The friendly, tough call out method is for the valiant, the brave, the courageous.   Wall flowers and shy little sisters who want to fit in must submit to the process or, sadly, avoid it.

At the end of it, I invite the young sister chosen into the hall, snap her picture and jot down a few facts about her life and I'm ready to write it up, insert the picture and go forward with the rest of the program.

By showing up and being seen, I got what I needed and the now released YW President didn't have to worry about it.  Unconventional?  Yes, but the result is still pretty much the same.  As I write this I do not know who will replace her--that may happen in a few weeks, but she has helped me learn the truth again that What you SEE is what you DO!  The right kind of visibility is important for such kinetic leaders.

I coach a young man in our ward who has a marvelous set of "pipes"  Just in the ninth grade, moving on this fall to High School, he has a voice that any opera singer or radio announcer would envy.  As part of our process, I encourage him to write down his heros and analyze why they are heros to him.

It's part of our 100 goal exercise taught to me by a wise leader named Rodney Brady.  He is a Harvard Phd who helmed the largest conglomerate of radio and TV stations in the Intermountain West.  On a seat next to mine in a quick hop from LA to SLC he shared his secret to success.  His debate coach in high school challenged him to write down his 100 goals on 3x5 cards, organize them and set about achieving them.  As a result of effectively setting goals for his life in high school,  he now flys his own plane, serves on the national board of the Boy Scouts of America, organized and served as President of a big pharmaceutical company and served as a college president.

In that hero exercise, the young man with the "pipes" listed the YW president as one of his heros.  When I asked him why he said, "Because she cares about me!"  At a youth conference at Lake Powell earlier this summer he tried and tried and tried again to ride a wave board behind a power boat.   He told me how the YW President sat in the back of the boat shouting encouragement and suggestions.  He never did get it--but came to appreciate and grow in admiration and love for this marvelous leader.

To some, her method is a bit scattered and a little screw ball--but it's just those qualities that make her loved.  One member of the Bishopric introduced her as a speaker in church by saying, "The Young Women love her because she is one of them!"  She gets it done right away, as long as she can see the problem before her.  She will be missed!

JRH

Pride falleth before the Teaching!

How teachable are you -- and how do you know?  The Holy Ghost only gently nudges those who are humbly "listening" for the subtle feelings and gentle impressions.  Those who are too proud or too busy or too distracted, stop their own reception.  

Who needs a Farmer's Market?

Case in point:  Today, we celebrated Pioneer Day at our house by taking an early harvest in our little garden and baking Grampa Milo's Round Tuit bread (Honey Wholewheat bread baked in 46 ounce juice cans and a few clean mushroom soup cans for some tiny friends who like their own little round loaves, "Just their size!")

This recipe was originally developed by my sweet mom, Grandma Delma for her retired husband to have something fun and nutritious to do.  I remember the aroma of this delicious healthy treat--and this is the first we've re-created it in nearly thirty years.  By the way, it makes great toast!

Grampa Milo's Round Tuit Bread
Hope you get around to it!

Our son Jeff "Chef" is, for good or ill, quite a proud and often arrogant soul who has taught himself most of his culinary skills without much advice, especially from his mom and my sweet chef, Gramma Rosie.  Jeff made a single batch of Grampa Milo's Round Tuit Bread a couple of weeks ago in our kitchen--and it turned out just fine. The aroma kept calling my name.   I just couldn't wait and ate four or five slices while it was still quite warm.  For the next 24 hours, I paid the price.  I'll wait til today's batch is cool so my digestive system can cope with slightly less input.  Avoid chugging hot bread. Your lower GI will thank you for it.

Jeff did well, but his Mother decided he needed some baking coaching whether he wanted it or not. 

If he was resistant, she was locked in lecture mode, as if our 35 1/2 year old son were 9 years old and experiencing the complex baking process for the first time.  Some folks can be tone deaf to their own effect on others.  Some folks need to learn to bob and weave, suggest rather than command etc.

The more she dictated the more he squirmed and pulled away in impatient agony.   She kept at it--and after a while he mellowed and took it with more grace.  He will admit he learned a few new things!

The lesson to me is clear--if we pull away from the whisperings of the spirit in rebellion, the signals will cease.

Learn to be teachable.  Ditch the pride and you will grow with the best directions you ever felt!

JRH