Monday, October 3, 2011

Steak Center Restaurants: Never a Dry, Boring Meating!


Think Ward Dinner...every night!

There is an idea floating around Utah, Arizona, Missouri, Idaho and California for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called "The Steak Center" (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meating!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.

The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters -- men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.

The main menu items for lunch and dinner will be: 
Porterhouse Rockwell Steak
Primary Rib
Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef
Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes
Eliza R. Snow crab (in season)
And It Came to Pasta
Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.

Breakfast items will include:
Pearls of Great Rice
Frosted Minivans
Adam-ondi-Omelettes

Also available:
In Our Lovely Desserts
Fast Sundaes
Gadianton Cobbler
Laman Meringue Pie (just sinful!)

The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties.

At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last! 

--Guest post from David Dean

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